Suffer.

Suffering hurts.

I've been metaphorically kicked in the head by a girl. I've bombed tests. Walking tends to cause me some pain. I've been racked by a failure or oversight that hurt someone. I've been left hanging because I was too stupid to catch the clues that someone didn't care.

Is suffering bad?

Not necessarily. Indeed, I posit that it is unconditionally not. What meaning and 'bad'ness is attached to suffering? From a religious perspective, one can be drawn to the polar view that God rewards goodness with peace and bliss, while He rewards evil with pain and suffering. Psalms 34:19 indicates quite the contrary: we have His promise of support and peace through afflictions as well as eventual deliverance from them in His time. In a revelation given to the prophet Joseph Smith, the Lord states that even the worst, darkest, and most horrific times in our lives are used by the Lord to give us experience and bring good to both us and others. My mother's experiences with cancer have enabled her to sympathize with several of her friends who have since gotten cancer.

I don't know about you, but when I'm burdened or worried, my prayers become a bit more sincere and a bit more frequent. I try to be as sincere and as regular in prayer as I can, but a sincere desire really helps. One question I had once really humbled me. When I prayed I needed the answer, so I would express to the Lord what I wanted to know and then wait for an answer. Often none came, but I was listening. When members of the congregation would speak, the Spirit of God would softly bring reassurance and light to my mind regarding my question.

Meaning is key to understanding suffering. If I had decided that that girl telling me in no uncertain terms to leave her alone was a sign from God that I had sinned horribly, I would have spent a great deal of time wasted in self-searching and self-doubt. Instead, I took from it a rich set of experiences (read: mistakes) that I could learn from. I spent time searching myself for what I had done wrong and came away with a much better understanding of who I am in the dating scene. What is a guy to a girl? Excellent question. All I've got is a rough heuristic, but through that suffering I actually have one now. (On a side note, this was in part an answer to my longstanding plea to be more socially well-adjusted.)

On the other hand, I do not doubt that God sometimes uses sickness or other suffering as punishment. King Herod of the New Testament, the Egyptians of the Old Testament, Zeezrom of the Book of Mormon, and Joseph Smith in modern holy writ all stand out as examples of direct punishment via suffering. King Herod and the story of Moses in Egypt are, presumably familiar to you; Zeezrom was a lawyer who led an effort to destroy prophets of God in his land and was so racked with guilt once he believed that he nearly died, and Joseph Smith lost a portion of the Book of Mormon manuscript and feared for his soul over the matter.

The difference, in the end, is only knowable through direct, personal revelation. As one reads the scriptures and makes right choices, one's ability to receive and follow promptings increases. This is the standard by which suffering is to be discerned; this is the way God helps us grow.