Odd Fellow

I don't often notice little things, especially little things about other people. I'll notice odd peculiarities in any of a number of circumstances, but I tend to avoid scrutinizing people. (Barring infosec transactions...then my CS nerd gets all excited.)

I sat in the lobby of an office today. Across from me was a kid with a light backpack and a ski jacket. He had the gaunt, taught face of someone historically loaded with worry but not yet accustomed to it. The load had yet to etch its indelible marks into his features.

He seemed to be meandering aimlessly without moving a muscle. Being in that place seemed important to him, though I couldn't tell why.

I think he noticed me. It's uncertain when a person's eyes are that glazed over just what is or isn't happening between the ears. The eyes also had a myopic cant to them; the world wasn't in focus. It wasn't a lack of physical focus only--it seemed like his next objective was clouded while his overall course was obscured completely.

Definitely muttering under his breath, that one. Some phrases encouraging himself toward some far-off unknown goal, some lambasting some turn of fortune or choice made.

There was a slackness to his posture that was odd. It conveyed that he might let go of the coat he was holding at any time, and that at the same time he might lose his seemingly tenuous connection with reality.

This guy didn't take care of himself terribly well. His gait was a bit uneven, and from the stoop of his shoulders his physical frame was an added layer of weight pressed under all the other loads he carried.

You could almost feel the warping of spacetime as his thoughts raced in tight loops of limited information, lack of perspective, fractured self-confidence, and timorous feelings. Occasionally he'd shudder out a sigh, I suppose out of sheer frustration with how limited he was in just grasping whatever the matter was.

Just after these brief moments a clarity would cross his face, and he would try to brook time and space for a moment and then rapidly descend into another spiral of angst and worry, frustration and annoyance.

His confusion increased when his test results came back.

After heaving a sigh he left with an air of determined resignation. A hint of frustration and confusion wafted in with that air, and perhaps an underlying layer of insanity.

Maybe someday I'll bump into that kid and ask what happened, where all his energies wound up. I hope so. I also hope things work out for him.