Once upon a time, time was fairly sick of being sat upon by once, so he ate a quart of egg salad.

Guess what!  My name is Kunkee, and my favorite thing to do is sneak up behind second graders and tie their shoelaces together!  This is becoming harder as of late, because it's now apparently super cool to not have shoelaces.  And I'm not talking Velcro either.  That was super cool when I was a second grader.  No, they just have these shoes with no laces, and for the life of me I can't figure out how they keep them on their feet.

Never fear, I have a backup plan.  I've started carrying my own shoelaces with me!  And silly string.  When the small children aren't looking, I sneak up behind them and dump half a can of silly string on their heads.  Then, when they're distracted with that, I lace up their shoes and tie them together.

I haven't tried it yet, but such an incredible plan is sure to be infallible.

Yesterday I got sued.  It was by the school district.  Really, what's their problem?  I mean, okay, maybe I shouldn't have ridden the principal's wheelchair off the slide, but come on!  He left it outside the handicap stall!  What was I supposed to do, just leave it there?  I also released his oxygen tanks into the atmosphere.  All this whining about filling the air with carbon dioxide, and yet they keep oxygen locked up in tanks?  I'm appalled at how green that principal isn't.

Other news in my life is that I have decided to become a member of the religion Pastafarianism, also known as the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  It's a real religion.  Look it up.

Well, I suppose I'd better stop blogging.  I have to get back to my belly dance lessons.  Look out world, Kunkee's navel force will soon be taking you over!  Muah ha ha ha!