Jonny the Jalopy--on a stick

A few of you will understand where I got that name...

So driving stick is fun. :) Mind you, it's also a pain, but today's experience wasn't too bad.

Before my first lesson earlier this year I made sure to get my dad to explain the clutch to me. No, not just what "in" and "out" mean (which are actually highly variable), but blast it, give me a mechanical drawing, principles of operation, potential quirks due to emergent behaviors of a simple system...a basic understanding of the beast. That had been the most intimidating part. After a session with my dad, a chalkboard, and some dumb ;) questions, I thought I had it. At least kind of. (Turns out the transmission has some black magic of its own: synchros.)

My first time behind the wheel of a stick was interesting. I learned a lot but didn't go very far.

Last driving practice on a manual was a bit rough. I killed it once, had a nasty bucking session (match power feed with the time constant of the flywheel mass and clutch spring constant and voila: you're sitting on a driven oscillator), and putted around the neighborhood for about 5 or 10 min. before both my instructor (Mom or brother; don't recall) were too fed up with the process and I jerkily settled the car in the driveway. This session was important, but I butted up against the session restriction: no "high" (read: 3rd or higher) gears until you master starting and stopping. You Will Master The Clutch And First Gear Or You Will Not Do Anything Cool. 'Master,' mind you, not 'get passing good with.'

Thus started today. My dad and I decided to go to the temple. We then decided to take the stick. I hadn't 'mastered' starting, let alone passing the 'sit stationary pointed uphill using just the gas and clutch to stay put' test my mom required of my younger brother before letting him hit the highway, so I figured I'd be the passenger.

"You wanna drive?" Dad asked?

"Um, sure, but we'll have to hit a driveway and..." So I explained.

"Ok. Sounds good." His response was nice; I'd get some practice in. :D

I wandered through back roads leading to the latest possible highway entrance, only managing to buck significantly once and kill it once. "Par with the last session. Stop while you're ahead, K?" I thought to myself. Well, about halfway through the leg of the trip prior to the highway, I've been up to fourth gear and started and stopped a few times without much trouble, So, methinks, I'm doing alright."

About now Dad springs on me the idea that highway driving isn't much different. Just get into 5th gear, handle the throttle differently, and you're good. If you're comfortable with open freeway driving in an automatic then driving a stick isn't much different.

He was right.

Aside from downshifting during on ramps, using the engine to brake, and some other tricks you pick up on the smaller roads, it was. I made it to the temple and back (about 20 min.) safely. While I do still have some work to do on my starting, all the time in higher gears and actually moving gave me a lot more confidence so that I could talk shop with my dad as he described how to improve. (That's where the driven oscillator conversation happened. Turns out the idea is to pick a different point to start feeling for the catching sensation or use a different initial motor speed.) I even started to make superfluous complete stops so that I could start implementing the changes. While I do still have some work to do on my starting, all the time in higher gears and actually moving gave me a lot more confidence in my ability to drive a stick. This, in turn, made refining my skills a much more pleasant and much less nerve-wracking experience.

Eat that, last driving session.

Happy Final Exit

That sounds incredibly deep and of great import.

It's not.

It's just that I was afraid of my Mathematical Proofs class final, as I hadn't done any homework the last two weeks of class and we covered a topic that still kinda confuses me--delta epsilon proofs. I crammed for an hour prior. It seemed hopeless; I'd done well on previous tests, but the sheer volume of material and the emphasis on this last concept worried me. I forced myself to complete a d-e proof end-to-end. It was a simple one for a wee little linear function.

Lo and behold, as promised by the professor, it was on the test. Only it was a quadratic this time. After some finagling and tweaking, I found a workable delta. I even had time to double check it. All the other proofs weren't terribly worrisome either: even the inductive proof was straight induction and algebra.

I says to me, "Self, you oughta be proud of yourself. You did great. You had an answer for every question; one that felt right, even!" "Well," says I, "pride is dumb. I'll be humbled in a minute here when I see my multiple-choice score. Some of those were tricky and I'm not the best at details." "Well, self, you'll see."

Down the stairs, out the door. Pause, assess high-load layout and traffic patterns, shuffle over and look at the score monitor.

"You? 100%"

W000000000000000000T!

Hoorah!

Erm, :D

Who do I tell?

Meh. Nobody.

I could blog about it...

Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!one!!!!!!!!!

Eat that final final from the semester of internal pwnage and panzerfication! I can prove stuff!

Now you've shared in that happy moment. :D

Old piece

Hello!

First, this piece is REALLY old. Some may know how old, most won't. It may or may not be autobiographical and may or may not refer to reality...I'll go with the disclaimer side. Oh well.

Wednesday - Here
The UNS Fife was holed stern-to-aft this evening by the rail cannon of a tentative-friendly fleet during reportedly routine maneuvers over White Mountain Harbor. Few sailors were lost as most were plunged into cryostasis immediately after the impact, though casualty lists are not yet available. The ship managed to reach the nearby United Navy Station Drydock Hermit where it was locked down under multiple layers of physical and network security. We have not received word yet as to its status or repairablility. The few messages passed on by the crew reflect the harsh atmosphere under which the ship is being kept. Only the most necessary interactions with other fleet members are permitted and Srizbinski quantum pumps are being used to maintain a cool one kelvin and a hard vacuum. Few crew members have been resuscitated pending further analysis of the damage and its causes, as the AI and numerous other systems are suspect in provoking the incident.

Saturday - UNSD Hermit - UNS Fife
The lockdown continues today as investigators pore over the rather sparse evidence. Speculation runs wild: is this a covert UNS op gone wrong? is the oft-touted AI running the fleet's most powerful warships truly and deeply flawed? was the UNS Fife pursuing a ship that seemed friendly but simply did not want pursuit? These questions rattle our understanding of the UNS' operations in this sector and defy explanation; however, a few friendly nations have extended support by offering damage inspectors, grief analysis experts, and past incident experience. This has allayed many of the suspicions of the high brass, and we look forward to forthcoming information in the near future.

Sunday - UNSD Hermit - UNS Fife
Work is progressing rapidly in repairing the structural damage and thawing soldiers. Contact with the UNS was established late Saturday by the captain of the ship who fired on the UNS Fife, and a great deal of understanding was received regarding the provocation in the attack. This has led to selection of several specific subsystems for revisal and modification. Authorities are still searching for answers to a handful of questions before certain major shielding and navigation systems are completed, though most repairs are nearing completion. We have learned that the shot originated from a vessel in a fleet with a tentative-friendly IFF while awaiting an opportunity to clarify treaty provisions via a secure channel. Communications from the UNS Fife are still under close guard, but many of the most severe security restrictions have been lifted and the crew are being permitted leave on the station as fast as they are revived.


The investigation concluded three months later, about when repairs had been completed. Crew members interviewed more recently insist that a friendly foreign power was instrumental in completing many repairs, and some major retrofits are still underway. A UNS spokesperson declined the opportunity to comment. Two years after the incident. further investigation has shown that the UNS Fife was severely needing a refit. The damage from this encounter enabled some core changes that would have otherwise been left until 'later' due to cost and red tape. Other diplomatic ties are currently under cultivation and have led to many advances in naval theory and technical capabilities.


Thanks for reading. Cheers!

Eratron PPC 8200 and family

Howdy!

You're no doubt tearing your hair out looking for some tidbit of technical data on a piece of Eratron equipment. Me too. I've found a few things that might help you:

Eratron is another name for ERA, or Energy Research Associates that was based in or near San Francisco some time ago. (Source) The patent application mentioned below indicates it was Campbell, California.

They patented their electron beam power supply design. It's rather brilliant compared to the more conventional design the Mideast Industries PR-40 uses, but its brilliance shows up mostly in electron beam applications where output arcing is not uncommon.

The patent number is 4,314,324. If you use the USPTO site, you'll want to go to http://www.uspto.gov/. In the left column under Patents click Search. Scroll down to the heading "USPTO Patent Full-Text and Image Database (PatFT)" and click on either Patent Number Search (if you want just the text) or View Patent Full-Page Images (if you want the partial schematics). Enter the patent number on either page and it'll zap you right to the patent.

Now if you're like me, the computer will be grumpy and not show the TIFF image the image viewer embeds. If this is the case, right click on the side of the page, select View Source, scroll down in the new window to the bottom and start looking for:

<embed src="/.DImg?Docid=04314324&PageNum=1&IDKey=219CCF24E627
&ImgFormat=tif" width="570" height="840" type=image/tiff></embed>

Now for a bit of surgery. Take the URL you've found for the image viewer. For me it was:
http://patimg1.uspto.gov/.piw?Docid=4314324&idkey=NONE

Snip up and paste together a Frankenstein URL using the first half of the image viewer URL and the embed tag's data:
http://patimg1.uspto.gov/.DImg?Docid=04314324&PageNum=1&IDKey=219CCF24E627
&ImgFormat=tif

Paste that into your address bar and the image should come up after thinking a bit. Now, see that PageNum=1 bit stuck in the middle? You can use your original page viewer to see how many pages there were and what sections they were divided into to navigate simply by changing that one number.

Cool, eh? :) I thought so anyway. It's a simple hack. If you want to actually read the images or keep them, you can use a tool like wget with the Frankenstein URL to pull the TIFFs straight off the server.

Have a nice day!

...and remember, 3-phase can kill you. :)

Where has the Wavetek 195 Gone??

I was recently asked as part of my employment to find a manual for a Wavetek 195. After much Googling and hunting and prodding and sifting, I found absolutely nothing. This is why I'm writing this post.

The Wavetek 195 was renumbered as a Fluke 282.

It's that simple. I had to call Fluke, ask, and be called back as they had a hard time rediscovering this fact for themselves. The Wavetek 195 shows up in exactly one document in all of their internal systems, and that document is what you, the reader, can find for yourself. It's about 1 page and not terribly useful.

Oh, mergers...what fun! ;)

Motorola Droid disassembly

Taking things apart is fun...especially when it was expensive, has been replaced, is out of warranty, and needs fixing. So my boss handed me his recently bathed Droid to take apart, rinse out with ethyl alcohol, and reassemble. A brief Google search found these two links:

Dr. Wreck's Motorola Droid teardown
Note commenter Jeremy on the second page of comments.

Dr. Wreck's analysis of the carnage


These are nearly comprehensive and very impressive. However, I would like to insert an omission or two.

When pulling the back cover off, there is a black flat piece that runs along the top (camera end) of the battery compartment that needs to be pulled down as it has two tabs around the first silver torx' socket's base.

Note that the mic will lift right out.

The antenna board seems to be glued in, but it doesn't seem to interfere with removing the edge cover so I didn't remove it during disassembly.

Keep track of the three buttons: I nearly lost one to the floor. One doesn't come out until you remove the edge connector.

This phone has a sticker under the battery that holds a significant part of the edge cover down. Peel this back, lift the screen-ward edge in the direction of the back of the phone and the opposite edge will disengage towards the front of the phone.

The screen mount has NINE (9) screws holding it in. Five you can see with the phone open and four you can only get to with the edge cover off. I am presently having incredibly amounts difficulty getting the center right keyboard edge one to come out. Judging by their use of glue in holding the edge connector on, it has probably been loc-tite'd into place so it's brutally obvious to a trained service tech when I have invaded the inner sancta of the phone... EDIT later today: every device has failed to break the screw loose, so I had to drill out the head.

Also keep track of the various rubber buffer pieces on the main board. In my considered opinion and lack of specific experience, they can hide water damage and are essential to vibration protection.

UPDATE: Even with two separate water damaged Droids, no combination was successful in restoring life. Luckily, my boss' Droid was still able to recognize a USB connection and dump anything useful onto his PC.

Mormon Exodus

The trek undertaken by early Mormons from Illinois to Utah is a well-studied and fascinating phenomenon. Studies have been done correlating the Mormon Trail with the Oregon Trail and other routes while looking at mortality, demographics, and socioeconomic statuses (statii? statae? states?); however, one topic that is often overlooked is the motivation behind this monumental movement.

Section 136 of the Doctrine and Covenants gives us several insights into it. The verbage used is extremely reminiscent of the Exodus books, so we expect the people and the leadership to see this journey as a religious pilgrimage. For example, the terms "covenant" and "statute" figure prominently. The direct commands from God are also very similar to Deuteronomy's style, not to mention how the first verse starts out with the "Word and Will of the Lord" to the "Camp of Israel." This is then followed with archaic constructions involving 'captains of <insert number here>' and the formation of 'companies.' It might have been just as effective to use military organizational jargon like 'platoons' and 'brigades,' but the specific terminology lends a more religiously impactful weight to the directions.

A few of the commandments are noteworthy in this vein. Particularly, verses 20-30 contain several 'cease' commands in addition to several 'thou shalt' constructions. It's hard to get closer to Exodus 20 in style. This comes with verse 22, where the Lord identifies Himself in one of His oldest ways: as the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob.

I also note, in abstract, that vv. 34-36 carry an old-school wickedness-punishment weight, while v. 39 points out a justice-balance issue.

Thus this short and scatterbrained blog post ends.

Crandall Printing Museum

This was an awesome field trip. The only functioning Gutenberg printing press in the world is rather impressive, with sturdy olive-press style construction, boiled linseed oil with lead and copper oxides in the ink, and a replica type throwing tool. It's in the Crandall Printing Museum in Provo, UT.

The presentation was cool: the presenter walked us through a simplified engineer's narrative of the development of each part of the system. First we went through making punches and making type (an idea possibly obtained from the Orient), mass-producing type, setting it in a stable place, making useful ink, and finally developing a reliable way of printing pages. The printed and dried raw sheets were then sold to monasteries, where monks carefully and elaborately decorated each page of the Bible and then bound them into volumes. (I imagine that not quite so much care in decor was taken with other books of the era.) The next 50 years brought millions of books to light as printing became a well-established technology and the Renaissance came into full swing. Nice timing, eh?

The technology fascinated me. The typeface started as a filed piece of iron which was then punched into copper. The copper functioned as a mold for the letter-end of the type and had to be cast with a dimensionally heat-stable alloy (13% antimony, 80% lead, 7% zinc as I recall; a rather obscure mix that seems to work perfectly) so that it would conserve the shape of the cast with enough precision to be useful. Incidentally, a well-designed mold added perfectly straight sides so that the type could sit next to itself and remain properly aligned. The casting device (the name escapes me) was set up to be able to easily cast several of a letter in a minute or two, or several different letters almost as easily. The first printing was done with small tracts and publications in common languages, so when Gutenberg landed the job of printing Bibles for the Catholic Church, he had to file, punch, and throw enough of 256 uniquely Latin characters (counting accent marks, common abbreviations, &c.) to set six simultaneous sheets of the Vulgate version of the Bible. It was a massive project, and his financiers reposessed the shop before it was complete. (I suspect they continued its operation and fulfilled the contract. Our tour guides didn't mention it.)

What got me is that a top-of-the-line press from 1830 was nearly identical. The bed and press were larger and 16 pages could be printed instead of 2. The casting tool had had a trigger added to avoid opening the mold between letters. That was it. The principles were the same, the tool was almost identical, and not even the ink had changed.

The ink was boiled linseed oil with copper and zinc oxides mixed in. It was very black. Gutenberg had to develop this too; the quill pens of the period used a very thin water-based ink which wouldn't adhere to the type and transfer to the paper at all well.


I must say, I was extremely amused when I read a quote on the wall extolling the incredible impact of printing on humanity--arguably unparalleled as yet--and then saw that the reference was an "internet edition" of a text. The Internet is, I think, effecting a similar change in society in these days; however, it still has a few hundred years to try to match moveable-type printing.

</ramble>

Organizational details

If a class assignment involves the minutes from a meeting, I expect a dry time. The minutes from the establishment of the highest governing councils in the LDS church were to their nature, but there are fascinating underlying details contained in them.

The assignment is the minutes from a meeting of 24 men who held the office of High Priest in the church in 1834. This is the same office and authority that Melchizedek held in Abraham's time. In this document (Joseph Smith Papers Revelations and Translations, pp. 639-648) we see that an interesting medley comes out. For example, page 640 ends with a historical tone explaining the meeting, page 642 starts with names, agreements, and a general record of what transpired in the meeting, and continues on to a soft revelatory tone. Here we are informed in a passive tone that this council is for this, extreme cases are to be judged so, governing body equivalencies, quorums, and balances, how to ensure fairness and avoid insult, and other details of operation.

I call this a 'soft' tone because the informational section says nowhere "Thus saith the Lord." It is firm and direct about how the council should work; the basics of receiving revelation had already been established in the minds of the people (sections 8 and 9 of the Doctrine and Covenants come to mind), so the Lord simply revealed the working structure and relied on the council to obey the instructions and seek His guidance for the details.

I'm also surprised by how carefully laid out the rules are. Political problems are countered (mind you, not 'entirely avoided') in one case by requiring that an equal number of members of the council be appointed to speak in favor as well as against an individual accused of breaking church law. (For example, this council would hear charges of adultery and would consider excommunication for it.) Also, those dissatisfied with the conclusions or those discovering new evidence are provided with venues to seek amends.

Also, the structure has a certain resiliency designed into it. If the president himself is absent, one of his two counselors (in this case, one of the two men appointed to help with his work) would be able to stand in. Also, a binding majority of the quorum is 7 of the 12, with worthy and reliable men being called to fill in the remaining seats as required.

Meh; I get distracted with intricacies. That's probably why I'm in computer science and electrical engineering...with some dabbling in social engineering, which the council of high priests is a fine example of.

BYU Museum of Art visit

I had a good time during the class' visit to the MOA this last Wednesday. I learned a bit about myself...and a bit about religious art.

See, I thought I loathed humanities. It gives me the heebie jeebies when a person starts asking about "what this picture means." This is particlarly true when they proceed to take a bronze relief and invoke the imagery of the cross to carefully come to the conclusion that one figure is representative of divinity while I intrinsically held approximately half of that notion. The figure's position and poise conveyed power and influence on deity scale, while the second figure's positioning conveyed a lesser degre of existence. Why would we reach out blindly, grab some symbol with merely geometric applicability, and proceed to rigorously build these impressions ex nihilo into discrete facts when I already had them well in hand?

(Please please please realize that the above passage makes some attempt to lampoon my former way of thought!)

Heh. So I didn't like that bit. As the conversation progressed, a comment was made: whatever the original artist did or did not intend (which I was handling internally as canonical), we can take what we see and feel in the art and use it as a way to examine ourselves. Self reflection and examination; this process of conversing was a somewhat crude instrument to promote them. I think.

Also, if one wants to absorb much of the available imagery, it helps to start from small quanta and slowly iterate through all of the possible combinations of small interpretations. This eventually turns into the part I really like: the pieces come together into a sort of story or explanation, and as pieces are noticed and interpreted variously the bigger story changes or illumines accordingly.

So, did that last paragraph confuse you? Heh. Me too. That last sentence was way too long. This is the other tidbit I learned about myself. I am too vague. I will stumble all over myself and try to describe the description. Once, during the tour, I volunteered a comment pointing out one specific aspect of a painting. Our guide then asked, "So...what does that mean?" I was caught completely flat-footed. Absolutely astonied. Instead of being the kid that is too good for this, I was suddenly the kid who knows less than half of the game and just tried a move that is 'dumb.'

I notice, now, that the idea of challenging one's self with questions developed from religious art is actual a neat idea. It is similar to reading scriptures: the questions I need to ask are not necessarily inherent in the art, but they are, I think, inherent in my thinking. Thus, analyzing it doesn't evoke what the artist wrought, but instead invokes the process of internalization.

Anyhow, I learned a) that I CAN benefit from introspection from the Dreaded Examination by Humanties Attitude (which isn't so bad after all) and b) that said Examination "Isn't So Bad." I'm glad I went.

Kurono Perdencia

So I was planning to get each of the last two weeks' blog posts done on time...but I failed to even look at the quizzes until after they closed.

That's annoying, but that's life.

Sorry, TA's, for leaving you two less blog responses to read. Assuming you read them. I'm not big on begging for mercy either, but I can try.

Woof.

Salvation for the Dead

1 Corinthians 15:29.

I wonder, really, what translators think when they hit this passage. The clear similarity between NIV and KJV indicates their academic honesty over time (though a retranslation of my own would be more convincing, I'll admit ;). There is a lot that the Bible doesn't clarify or expand on, and this is one of those facts. (Another is “In my Father's house are many mansions” along with the varying “reward in heaven” individuals receive discussed elsewhere in the New Testament.)

So, what is this little gem? A passing mention? A passage clearly denouncing the reality of the resurrection? (No. Seriously. I have been told that to my face by a .) This passage is, throughout, strongly advocating the reality of the resurrection.

Having more information helps make sense out of this. First of all, Christ says that one must be baptized in order to enter the Kingdom of God. How, then, is God just and fair (in any sense) if someone who has never even heard of Christ is condemned by that fact to never enter heaven?

Resolution of these tidbits came in January of 1836 in Kirtland, Ohio. Joseph Smith was given a vision (recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants (of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) as section 137) in which he saw several aspects of heaven, from the gate, the throne, the streets (“which had the appearance of being paved with gold” v.4, note they're not actually gold), to the people that are there. This included Adam and Abraham, naturally, but also Joseph's parents and long-deceased brother Alvin. Here is the highest degree of heaven that has a very clear admission requirements, yet here is Alvin, who was never baptized. This made Joseph curious.

The Lord then informs us that yes, indeed, the dead can be redeemed. Any who would have received the gospel of Christ in its totality had it been presented to them are candidates for this degree of glory—that is, to live with God in His presence and be joint-heirs with Christ. (Notably He also notes that young children who die are also there.)

This is a very merciful and peaceful idea. The peace that passeth understanding that comes because of faith in Christ is not limited to the minority who have even heard of Christ in history; beyond death the Lord makes provision for those who have not heard to hear, learn, and accept if they so choose so that “they might be judged according to men the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.” I feel this lends a completeness to my view of the universe that is otherwise lacking.

(I've never heard the question of salvation for the young and the ignorant squared with quite so rigorously in any other Christian theology. I've knocked a lot of doors and had many discussions, and this came up once in a while.)

Title Origin

It might be useful to know why I named my blog "artifacts." See, I'm fond of fractals. These are incredibly complex mathematical entities which are most easily studied empirically by means of computers. However, in making the necessary approximations, inaccuracies appear. They are often dead, uniform spaces that obscure some vital point whose details are too fine for the machine's precision to render. These are called artifacts of the process or algorithm, and the mathematical process that generates them is yet another degree more complex.

Life is like that. We're all individuals, and we each have to approximate some things. Often we gloss over really important stuff.

This blog is to reflect this eclectic nature of the world.

BYU Library Special Collections Visit

Lateness is (pretty much) never a virtue. This is the case with the Special Collections visit my class just made. See, BYU has a number of rather valuable and irreplaceable items. These are housed in the Special Collections section of the library, which enterprising professors teaching relevant classes can schedule visits to. Frankly, I missed the first half hour of class. That's really sad, since when I walked in I had missed all of the explanations.

It was really quite amazing. The librarian had a host of items out for us to inspect. He showed us a cuneform tablet (that apparently contained a beer brewer's inventory). Those are neat; apparently a palace north of Israel was burned down during a civilization's fall and a whole shlew of them was preserved. Linguistically, this is notable because it was quite some time before this particular language had been cracked. I think the Rosetta stone was involved. This palace, it was discovered, if that talk on CD is to be trusted, was the center of a kingdom named Ebla...that had been mere legend to date. Syria is keeping a lid on that, though, since the translations started talking about Abram and Melchi-zedek... Naturally, our distinguished lector didn't know where this tablet was from, but it was really neat to see a real live hardened clay cuneform tablet. That's Old.

I digress. This really is just a stream of consciousness ramble. I really want to do these properly. I showed up expecting a tour and got a lecture with really really cool visual aids. I was unable to take notes.

There was a really cool later-1800s era printed book with a ripply-looking paper glued to the inside of the 'boards.' I got to read something on the process this entailed. That must have been a collector book like he said, because each sheet had to be carefully dipped in phases in an oil-based paint.

Seeing the old Bibles was amazing. The intricate designs, the gold leaf inlays, elaborate text decorations, and other details were fascinating. Bookmaking was as much art as it was a science or trade. Some of the documents, as I recall, were even Palimpsests and had been examined with multi-spectral photography to reconstruct the old writing. (Palimpsests are documents that have been erased to provide writing space for more-important-at-the-time writings, e.g. Aristotle would be erased in favor of copying the Bible.)

So, visiting this part of the library was rather curious. They even had a first-run Book of Mormon we got to see. (I say 'see' because the trained student walked around and flipped through it so we could all see it.) The oldest of the old—cuneform—was sitting in the same room as almost-new print-and-bound books from the late 1800s.

Suffer.

Suffering hurts.

I've been metaphorically kicked in the head by a girl. I've bombed tests. Walking tends to cause me some pain. I've been racked by a failure or oversight that hurt someone. I've been left hanging because I was too stupid to catch the clues that someone didn't care.

Is suffering bad?

Not necessarily. Indeed, I posit that it is unconditionally not. What meaning and 'bad'ness is attached to suffering? From a religious perspective, one can be drawn to the polar view that God rewards goodness with peace and bliss, while He rewards evil with pain and suffering. Psalms 34:19 indicates quite the contrary: we have His promise of support and peace through afflictions as well as eventual deliverance from them in His time. In a revelation given to the prophet Joseph Smith, the Lord states that even the worst, darkest, and most horrific times in our lives are used by the Lord to give us experience and bring good to both us and others. My mother's experiences with cancer have enabled her to sympathize with several of her friends who have since gotten cancer.

I don't know about you, but when I'm burdened or worried, my prayers become a bit more sincere and a bit more frequent. I try to be as sincere and as regular in prayer as I can, but a sincere desire really helps. One question I had once really humbled me. When I prayed I needed the answer, so I would express to the Lord what I wanted to know and then wait for an answer. Often none came, but I was listening. When members of the congregation would speak, the Spirit of God would softly bring reassurance and light to my mind regarding my question.

Meaning is key to understanding suffering. If I had decided that that girl telling me in no uncertain terms to leave her alone was a sign from God that I had sinned horribly, I would have spent a great deal of time wasted in self-searching and self-doubt. Instead, I took from it a rich set of experiences (read: mistakes) that I could learn from. I spent time searching myself for what I had done wrong and came away with a much better understanding of who I am in the dating scene. What is a guy to a girl? Excellent question. All I've got is a rough heuristic, but through that suffering I actually have one now. (On a side note, this was in part an answer to my longstanding plea to be more socially well-adjusted.)

On the other hand, I do not doubt that God sometimes uses sickness or other suffering as punishment. King Herod of the New Testament, the Egyptians of the Old Testament, Zeezrom of the Book of Mormon, and Joseph Smith in modern holy writ all stand out as examples of direct punishment via suffering. King Herod and the story of Moses in Egypt are, presumably familiar to you; Zeezrom was a lawyer who led an effort to destroy prophets of God in his land and was so racked with guilt once he believed that he nearly died, and Joseph Smith lost a portion of the Book of Mormon manuscript and feared for his soul over the matter.

The difference, in the end, is only knowable through direct, personal revelation. As one reads the scriptures and makes right choices, one's ability to receive and follow promptings increases. This is the standard by which suffering is to be discerned; this is the way God helps us grow.

I have always felt like God has a plan for me and for the world, and that somehow they intermingle in some (albeit small :) way. In the early days of the church, these paths were not so relatively different in size. Those called to leadership positions in the church were often newly baptized members. This meant that as revelations were received by Joseph Smith to guide and direct the church, general principles had to be taught again and again, and these instructions were addressed both specifically to these individuals and to the church as a whole.

These revelations relevant to the church as a whole were gathered, edited and eventually published as "The Doctrine and Covenants of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints." Some sections (as the chapters are called), such as 8, 9, and 25, contain portions addressed to specific individuals, while others like section 20 were information for the whole church.

A 'patriarchal blessing,' on the other hand, is rather amazing. Whether it was Israel blessing his sons as to their futures and progeny, Lehi blessing his children, or a man ordained to this duty in modern times (called a 'patriarch'), He has seen fit to bestow power and authority upon certain men so that they may pronounce the blessings He has prepared for individuals upon their heads. This always includes a declaration of one's 'lineage,' which is the tribe of Israel one is either descended from or adopted into. This carries a weight primarily because the tribe of Ephraim was charged with spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ's suffering, death, and resurrection to the entire world. (Other duties and blessings specific to these tribes are found throughout the Old Testament.) Other common points are warnings about weaknesses, promises of blessings (always conditional on obedience to God), and 'big picture' perspective on life.

Section 25 is, in essence, a patriarchal blessing. (http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/25, note the explanatory heading) Principles, such as in v.15's 'keep the commandments and great blessings will come' are very general. Also, v. 12 is a very general principle. This contrasts with vv. 6, 9 and 11 which are very specific to the recipient. Section 25 also differs in one major aspect: it is holy writ unto the world. If you receive a patriarchal blessing, it is holy writ to you, but not binding on the church. Also, the Lord gives each of us the ability to understand what revelations we receive mean, and this can change over time. For example, Emma, Section 25's recipient, may have reflected on v. 15 often for encouragement. She probably understood a 'crown of righteousness' as pertaining to the joy of going to heaven early on, but as the doctrines regarding the state of the righteous in heaven were revealed her vision of the promise must have expanded exponentially.

First Post!

Oh, come on. Slashdot.org anyone?

Anyhow, DasKunkee is back in a small way. DasKunkee.net is a long way off, but this little space will house any ramblings I want to publish, from LCD monitor fixits to fractal ranting. The main reason this blog is starting is, however, to fulfill an assignment in a religion class. If you can't figure it out after the first couple of posts, let me know... ;)

I am thoroughly enjoying Dr. Holzapfel's class.